In our country marriages are an everlasting bond not just between the bride and the groom but with their entire families. This first meeting may not necessarily give you a definitive yes or a no answer but is very important in deciding if the alliance is worth taking forward or not.
When the day comes and you meet your potential partner and their family for the first time, there is nervousness, some shyness, a little awkwardness, and a lot of questions running inside your mind. But don’t worry, we are here to help you out with these amazing 8 tips.
But first, remember this very important mantra:
Take a deep breath, smile, be confident, and most importantly just be yourself. The other person you are about to meet is sailing in the same boat!
1. An Informal Setting for the First Meet:
First meetings can be a little overwhelming. For the ease of both the families, it’s always better to arrange these meetings at an informal and casual location like a restaurant or a hotel at a selected time and date. Pick a place that is both convenient and has a comfortable atmosphere.
2. Keep Conversation on Lighter Subjects Initially:
Create a relaxing atmosphere, let both the families take some time and get to know each other. Allow the conversation to take its natural course. Do not intrude, push or bring up an unpleasant topic. It is important to know and everything about the prospective family but not early in the conversation.
3. Be Well Dressed and Well Prepared:
First impressions are very important. The first thing your prospective partner and their families would notice about you is your attire. So select your dress accordingly. If confused, take opinions from the females of your family (trust me, they have a knack for these things!).
Our generation is blessed with the power of social media. Take a look around their social media profiles. This would give you a general idea about the person you are about to meet and it can even give you some ice-breaker topics to begin your conversation with.
But remember there is more to a person than what their profile says. So keep an open mind.
4. Be Yourself:
This first meeting decides the future of your second meeting and eventually if it all goes good: then into taking the biggest decision of your life. Both your and your partners’ future is based on this one final decision. So just be your normal and natural self. Do not try and be someone else in order to impress the prospective partner or their family. Do not lie about your likes, dislikes, your interest and things you know. Nothing stays hidden and the truth comes out in due course.
5. Ask for a One on One Meeting:
Don’t feel shy in asking for a one on one meeting. Asking personal/important questions is not easy in front of families. And it’s important that you talk and get to know each other a little. A lot of times families are not comfortable with letting the bride and the groom meet alone, in that case, explain to your family beforehand why talking one on one is important to you. In an arranged marriage setup, your families are your biggest supporters.
6. You Can Always Start with the Basics:
When in doubt or not sure where to start the conversation ask the most basic questions: what are your hobbies? Do you like pets? What’s your day like? This would give you an idea about the person and ease you both into further conversation.
7. Prepare a List of Important Question:
Before you go for your first meeting, prepare a list of a few important questions like their views on life, kids, future plans, their opinion on marriage, their relationship with their parents, siblings, family, etc. these questions may sound heavy but if you both are not on the same page there is no point in taking the alliance further.
Remember you can be direct in asking the question but do not push or cross your boundaries. He/she might not be comfortable answering all your questions in the first meeting. In that case, go with your instinct and decided if you want to get to know the person more or not.
8. It’s not a Job Interview:
Do not be rigid or too formal while talking. Do not memorize answers to any question. You both are here to get to know each other and your families. Be comfortable and natural in your approach. And remember to SMILE. It makes everything a little easier.
Your first meeting is all about getting to know each other. There is no right or wrong answer. It is important to be yourself and the families to feel comfortable with each other.