Be a Better Companion
Be a Better Companion
In today’s rushing life, we all want a perfect partner to match up to our expectations. We want our partner to sync his/her speed to form the other wheel of the relationship. But, stop for a mille second and think, am I being a better companion? Instead of looking for the perfect partner, be the better one! This thinking of being a better partner rather than looking for one, radically changes the way we are in a relationship and stirs the whole connection in a different direction.
You hear when your partner says, “It’s such a gloomy day”. Perhaps what your partner wants to hear in return is ”Lets grab some coffee” rather than you agreeing to how much of a gloomy day it indeed is. Sometimes when you hear “what a long day”, what your partner wants you to you listen to is “I’m tired and would love a quick head massage”. What you hear could be different from what you understand when you listen carefully. Listening is the key.
As much as we want to feel “wanted”, try being available for your partner when he or she is in need, not only in cases of emergencies but also when your partner needs a company for just a ten minute stroll down the road or to enjoy a silent cup of tea at the balcony. Being available is different from only being when in need. It is about how you prioritize each other. Fulfilling the needs is bare minimum, give extra.
*Respect Personal Space
Having privacy doesn’t mean your partner is hiding anything. Don’t expect their password to social media or their account details to be shared in order to show trust. Understanding your partner’s boundaries is the first step to respecting them. It can be difficult to make the choice to respect your partner’s boundaries when their boundaries don’t match up with whatever it is that you want, but that doesn’t make respecting their boundaries any less important. Examine your own boundaries to see whether you are imposing unhealthy expectations on your partner.
*Act, don’t react
When you take responsibility for your behaviors, you demonstrate to your partner your willingness to be honest and vulnerable, which in turn encourages your partner to be open and authentic with you. When people are held accountable for their behaviors, they often become defensive. Getting defensive is a reaction. When you act on a situation, you can respond with clarity and awareness. You have to practice acting on situations instead of reacting in day to day situations. It also gives you a chance to take a moment and look at the situation from your partner’s Frame of mind. It can be hard to think from the other perspective, especially in the heat of the moment. Remember, acting upon a situation is always better than reacting on the same.
*Be the warmth of the relationship
Identify the elements that bring vibrancy to your relationship. Knowing your needs will help you organize your life as couple around those needs –a kind of common project. Praise your partner for everything they do, the way he matches his tie to the shirt or the earrings to her top. Praise provides a reminder of your love. Make promises and keep them. Promises are meant to be fulfilled. Always show that you care.
We all are self sufficient individuals capable of being happy by ourselves. The uniqueness of any relationship is in the feeling of belonging to someone and them belonging to you. The moment you say you want someone to complete you, is the very moment you are depreciating the value of your existence. And once you have done that, what do you have left to offer to your soul mate? The whole point is about complementing each other and not completing each other. In the pursuit of eternal bonding, Be a better partner!
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